Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Mike's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
10:04 pm	It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings... Since the last post, things have taken a significant turn for the worse. On Sunday, Gem told me that she would be staying at her mum's after work, and not coming back. The reason was my depression; she can't understand why I'd be depressed and it just brings her down and makes her miserable, so she decided she can't stick by me any more. Obviously, this resulted in a massive dramatic reaction from me during which I begged her to stay on several occasions, but to no avail. I shouldn't have let it, but this obviously caused a massive distraction in my head, which meant no work got done: none of yesterday's appointments got confirmed. True to form, I let the side down, as surprisingly none of the appointments turned up. This led to a poor end to the month, which will no doubt result in poor wages, which I can't afford at all the month after Gem's moved out again. I've been relatively positive today for the majority of the time, but writing this post is serving the purpose of changing that. I am, however, determined to finish as I've had things to say for a couple of days now. I'll finish off Sunday night first... Alan (Gem's brother and my newest regular acquaintance - awkward!) and I watched Season 7 of Family Guy, which was somehow funnier with someone else there other than myself and Gem - the jokes are somewhat ruined by the fact that we both know exactly what's coming - but also reminded me a lot of good times with Gem, so the experience was very bittersweet. While that was on, I did a fair bit of tidying, starting a long time before 9.30pm (I don't know when, probably hours before, but that was the first time I looked at the clock) and finishing... some time before I woke up on my living room floor. Presumably I had just dropped at some point during the tidying, as I don't remember lying down or anything. As well as the depression, I think I'm starting to suffer with exhaustion. Tidying reminded me a lot of Gem: putting her slippers away in our wardrobe, tidying the plates from the beans on toast she made me that morning, and all sorts of little reminders like that. When I woke on the floor, I woke Alan up, and we both called it a night. At some early point in the morning, I awoke for no particular reason, yet could not shut back down for a little longer, so I got up. Alan was still in bed, so I put his PS3 on, turned the difficulty onto easy, and set up an Extreme Rules match (basically, anything goes and you can choose the weapons you pull out from under the ring) between myself and the worst male character on the game. I'd estimate the match last half an hour, but that wasn't down to any sort of equality, I just wanted to annihilate him. I took some satisfaction from hitting him with, and putting him through, all manners of tables, ladders, chairs, sticks and other assorted weapons. I just needed a release, and it worked surprisingly well. When Alan woke, we played team matches, but I never once went for a pin; I just destroyed whomever was put in front of me. I did feel a little better. When I dropped Alan off at his, I went in and saw Gem. It was very awkward - we both acknowledged that - but I am happy with how I coped for the mostpart (aside from a couple of tears towards the end). I said what I wanted to say, which amounted to: I am no longer what's best for Gem due to my state of mind, so I will fix myself, then come back to fight for her once more. I have always wanted what's best for Gem as a higher priority than what I want for myself, and I know that when I'm okay, I am the best thing for her. Right now, all I do is upset her and let her down, and it makes me hate myself. Whether it's tomorrow, or in ten years, I will return to my soulmate. I have made a couple of changes already. Firstly, I have started wearing a black rubber band (or ring) on my ring finger. I have no intention of bothering with anyone else female, let alone putting any other sort of ring on there. It's a constant reminder and motivator of what I'm working towards - it's symbolic of what's missing from my life. I will take it off when I get Gem back. Secondly, I am phasing out any consideration for my own feelings. I have given Gem my heart for safe-keeping (which I truly hope she honours... and I truly believe she will) and it has had a profound effect on my approach to life. The title is a reference to this new approach. If I do all I can, no matter how unpleasant or boring or whatever the task may be, I will take longer, faster strides towards sorting myself out and being able to fight for Gem again. If I don't, and I just do what takes my fancy, what small, fleeting joy those activities bring will not be comparable to the joy that Gem brings. Gem has just phoned, asking to come round to pick some things up tonight, so I'm going to end it there as I was pretty much done anyway, and I want to be there in plenty of time. Releasing it all from me is just making me think nengatively anyway, so I'm going to go before it does more harm than good. This is a potentially long and rocky road for me, but I will make it. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "Greatest Day" by Take That (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
9:34 pm	Though he has all of his toys, he is never having fun. This weekend has been fairly disastrous, by all accounts. I don't wish to go into detail about any of it, rather the psychological impact of it all. Firstly, some background: I have been suffering with a strange depression of late, as referred to in the title of tonight's post. It's strange because I have everything I've ever wanted - the girl of my dreams, my dream job and an amazing home - yet I'm seriously depressed. I know the word gets thrown around a lot, especially on the internet, but I've been here once before and recognise it all too well. I've kept it quiet for a couple of reasons, the main one being my firm belief that talking about it only serves as a reminder and thus increases the misery. Positive self-talk is how I try to get myself through life, so admitting defeat to depression will severely dent my ability to combat it. I poured my heart out to Gem a couple of weekends ago about it all, and it did no good getting it out, it just made it more real because it had been said aloud and someone else knew about it. So far, this post sounds fairly disastrous, however the underlying theme is much more positive: It's always darkest before the dawn. This weekend has definitely been very dark (for example, I've probably come close to death at least three times - not intentional, just through stupid decisions), however I have come out of it feeling strangely optimistic. The source of my depression stems from one thing - the feeling that I am letting others down. I feel like, because the diary's not full and we're not enrolling many, I'm letting Dave and Vicky (and therefore Molly, Vicky's daughter) down. My lack of motivation in cleaning the house makes me feel like I'm letting Gem down. My personal financial situation is letting Mum and Dad down as I owe them both money I simply cannot afford to pay back right now. I could continue my list of people I feel I let down, however I'd rather move on. The optimism somehow came from a combination of a minimal, yet significant, amount of tidying on my part yesterday, and just a realisation that all of this responsibility just translates to me being in control of my own life, so I need to stop moping and start sorting this mess out. Obviously, I'm anticipating still having some really rotten days where I have no motivation at all, probably more than positive to be honest, but those positive moments will hopefully get me through sooner rather than later. Gem has been a fantastic help without even really meaning to; I don't know where I'd be now without her. I just hope she can put up with me until this is all over and I return back to normal. This post is a bit of a nothing post; I've written a lot yet not really said anything. However, the purpose of this post is based on the theory I alluded to earlier, that witnesses and turning the thoughts into words makes it that much more real. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: none (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
9:19 pm	When everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down. Yesterday, there were only two people in the diary, and I got three of my required six VIPs, resulting in me owing myself a whopping 110 push-ups. In my infinite wisdom, I did not even start them, and with today's eighty (four appointments, four VIPs), I have 190 to catch up on promptly. Thinking positively, at least I'll have strong, built arms soon! The negativity for the month has returned all too quickly following two consecutive bad days. We need something spectacular to happen to remotivate us at the moment, it seems. I still have not registered my details for my tax return, so the saga drags on some more. I need to prioritise my time much more wisely, as this should have been done in the last two days, if not weeks before! Speaking of prioritising time, I still have yet to manage the self-control to do nothing but phone calls until the diary's full. I don't know what will work to make me do it, but I certainly know I don't want to learn the hard way any more: by earning next to nothing at the end of the month. Something needs to change, and now. Tomorrow, I need to get on with it, make Saturday a spectacularly busy day with a couple of enrolments and a lot of money taken. I wish the office door could be locked from the outside with me in it sometimes, so I really couldn't avoid my responsibilities any more... Tomorrow, I shall also be getting up the first time my alarm rings. If I don't, I'm going to add one hundred push-ups to my tally. Drastic? Yes. Effective? Hopefully. Yesterday, I had a reasonably good experience with using the script to make phone calls, which has only fuelled my enthusiasm to become more professional at my job. Phone scripts are the easiest because you can just have it in front of you to keep you on track. The other scripts will prove more of a challenge. Gem is working late this evening, however I can't stay and catch up with my friends page; I'm going to Mum's for tea as it's been a while since I've seen her. I'll do it as soon as possible, and comment wherever I see fit. Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: "Faint Toxic" by Linkin Park & Britney Spears (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
9:57 am	As you turn to face the sun, your shadows fall behind you. The main purpose of today's post is to get myself back on track with the goals I set myself a couple of weeks ago, with a brief update of my weekend at the end if I feel so inclined. Firstly, I have not kept on top of my ten push-ups per target missed forfeit, so therefore now am neither progressing in my job nor my fitness. I will get back on top of this today, and with only two appointments in the diary (meaning eighty push-ups already), I'd better do well at VIPing, otherwise I'm going to be knackered. Secondly, I've started to give up hope at work, as it's been a pretty rubbish month so far, financially. I still feel whole-heartedly to blame for this, as we've only enrolled two people this month, which is down to a lack of people coming into the building, mainly. I have realised upon reviewing the post from two weeks ago, that I am wrong to have given up at work so soon, as there are still ten working days left in the month, so there's no reason we can't still be successful. I never did register my details online for my tax return, and therefore will need to send off for a new code. I'm pretty annoyed with myself because of this, as it could all have been done and dusted for another year by now, however now it's just another unwelcome distraction. Time permitting, this will be requested before I leave the house today. In respect to the post, the first official step I documented has failed somewhat spectacularly. I have come back to the centre with less than six VIPs more often than not, and the diary consistently has less than ten in per day. Also, the last two weekends, I have allowed myself to become distracted before my targets were met. This weekend coming, I have made plans, however I cannot allow these plans to get in the way of work... Today at work, I am going to do my VIPing, then when we return to the centre I'm going to lock myself in the office and make sure there are ten appointments in the diary for tomorrow. We can't afford for there to be any less anymore, so I've got to get on top of this. The next target concerned my sleeping pattern. I have been doing fairly well in this respect, with the notable exception of getting up when my first alarm goes off. I made myself dinner for work yesterday morning, which is definitely a step in the right direction, but other than that, I haven't done so well with dinners, which is probably why I'm already completely skint. I haven't had any spare money this month to waste on things I don't need, so that one's been forced to go pretty well. Unfortunately, I have had a final demand for my water bill, and have no money with which to pay it... I have managed to save none of my money towards my goals as yet, which is even more reason why it's not acceptable for me to give up on November. Finally, I have not yet managed to start learning the scripts required for my job. I need to get on with this, so today when I lock myself away making phone calls, I'm going to have the laptop in front of me with the phone script on screen for reference, to do some passive learning, basically. If anyone knows a miracle cure for lack of motivation and self-control, I would really appreciate you mentioning it to me now, because they are my only obstacles on the way to success. As an aside, this weekend was pretty enjoyable. On Saturday morning, we held an inter-school competition, which went very well as an event. On a personal level, I didn't do as well as I'd hoped (a silver for forms and a bronze for team forms), however the event was undoubtedly a success. I vowed to do a lot more training this coming year in order to win everything next year, I want to wipe the floor with the competition next time round and pick up all golds. The only real way of doing this is to get into more classes, which means hitting my targets for the day before class times; an extra incentive for me to put more effort in during the day. If there are ten appointments in the diary for the next day, I will train. If I train, I will train hard. After the competition, Gem's brother brought his PS3 and TV down again, and most of the weekend was taken up with me writing storylines in the new Story Mode, then him completing them. I really do love that feature of the game, it's like being a real WWE writer (obviously with more limitations), which I always dreamed of doing as a child. Hopefully I'll get enough money at Christmas to fix my PS3 and buy my own copy of the game, so I can tinker with it more... Anyway, I need to apply for my new code from HM Revenue & Customs, then get a shower and get ready for work, so I'm going to leave it there for now. My next update will hopefully be at some point tomorrow, although recently I seem to have had a problem with updating on any day that's not Tuesday or Thursday! We'll see... Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
11:02 pm	As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Yesterday, I stayed behind at work to write my entry, and for some reason became side-tracked by PKR, the online poker game I used to play quite regularly and with some degree of success. Today, I have felt guilty about this show of lack of self-control, along with all the other displays in the days following my return to LiveJournal. Yet, here I am, beginning LiveJournal at some ridiculous hour because I have been distracted, this time by YouTube. I have not kept up with my push-ups for several days, so I'll either have to re-count them and add some on, or start the count again after the weekend. At the moment, the latter appeals more, not because it gets me out of push-ups, but because it gives me a whole weekend to clear my head and get back on track. I'm fed up of getting back on track; I need to stay on track. Today, staff training and organising the upcoming competition on Saturday took up the majority of the day, so no VIPing got done. There were only four people in the diary for this evening, however fortunately one was coming back to join, and did. That's our first official enrolment of the month, which is pretty abysmal considering we aim for one per day. I need to step my game up and keep it there. Whether I post or not this weekend is debatable, depending on both my home internet connection and my own motivation to do so, but a serious review of my third post back from my prolonged break is definitely on the agenda. Not really in any mood to make a longer post, so I'm going to procrastinate on YouTube for a little while longer, then return home and see Gem for the majority of the weekend. As an aside, I would just like to say thank you to you all for the response to my first post back, I enjoyed logging in for a couple of days after that with comments to which I could reply. So, thank you. Current Mood: tired Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
11:13 am	As we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. This weekend, my lack of updates was primarily due to lack of self-control and motivation. On Friday, I picked up Alan (Gem's brother) and brought him, his HD TV and his PlayStation3 to my house. We spent the majority of the weekend playing WWE SmackDown! Vs. Raw 2010 which, by all accounts, is an incredible game, yet still with absolutely tonnes of potential to keep on improving. New features I really enjoyed tinkering with were creating your own entrance video from your match highlights and creating your own storyline, complete with cutscenes, scripts and everything. The actual wrestling isn't bad, either! It has re-inspired me to get my PS3 fixed as quickly as possible and get the new game. The potential comes from things that are definitely not quite complete. For example, when you create an entrance video, you can only use highlights from one particular match, which limits the potential for the video's variety somewhat. The storyline creator is pretty limited, too, but as both former and latter features are brand new, they can be forgiven for having imperfections because of the originality and creativity of the ideas themselves. Anyway, this weekend also featured the start, and not necessarily end, of a major wobble in my life. Without going into too much detail, I'll simply say that I have nearly everything I could want in my life, and still just don't feel happy. It's myself with which I'm dissatisfied, not anyone or anything else. I currently dislike the way I look, think and act, which pretty much equates to I just dislike me. Obviously this is not a good place to be, and must be rectified as soon as possible. Right now, I am torn between my desire to keep up with LiveJournal so as to document my progress (or lack thereof) and therefore maintain charge over my decisions, efforts and results, and actually cracking on with some work to begin achieving what I set out to last week. Whichever way I did it, I knew I'd be letting myself down, and have already let myself down by making it an either/or, rather than better managing my time and being able to comfortably do both. This entry is being cut short and left brief to try to achieve both and therefore not let myself and others down as much as I could by focusing entirely on one priority and thus neglecting the other. I shall update tomorrow, all being well. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
8:37 pm	There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. Today, I woke late and paid for it. I had to sort out my car tax to drive to Hindley for staff training, which I did, but which also resulted in me being significantly late. I didn't miss much in all honesty, but that's not the point. My sleeping habits are clearly the first priority for me to get sorted out. At staff training, we covered judging for the competition mainly, which was better than the usual subject matter. Afterwards, myself and Dave played football upstairs with Mr Kavanagh and Mr Hartley from Hindley with a foam football they keep in their cupboard. The highlight was Mr Kavanagh nailing Mr Hartley in the nuts from extremely close range with the ball, which was hilarious. Mr Hartley is the perennial victim of Family Martial Arts Centres (mostly through his own doing, it has to be said), which obviously just makes things like that funnier when they happen to him. I even wrote a crude poem in honour of the event: Mr Hartley should... Remember, remember, The fifth of November; the day a ball hit him right on his member! I think it is some of my finer work, to be honest. Anyway, after staff training I went to McDonald's and bought a couple of cheeseburgers and a McFlurry, then returned to the Swinton centre. Dave and Vicky arrived soon after, and Vicky wanted to visit the tattoo shop where she, Gem and I are all going to be getting our tattoos done, so I went along. I made an appointment for December 11th for me and Gem, so I'm going to have my first tattoo by the end of the year! I really can't wait now, it's much more real since it's been booked in her diary, although I still have to put a deposit down tomorrow to confirm the appointment as official. When we got back, not an awful lot got done before classes, in both of which I took part. The cruel irony is that I actually wasn't really in the mood for training today, the one opportunity I've had in quite a while to train properly. It did strike me, though, that at my level in the training, this shouldn't matter and I should give it my all whenever I get called upon or whenever I get the opportunity. I shall learn from this in the future. We didn't do too atrociously either, with two inductions of the three in the diary turning up, both agreeing to join. Unfortunately, neither actually committed this evening, but one filled in an agreement, and the other we really have no reason to not believe when they say they'll come back, so that's definitely a positive step. Dave also upgraded someone, which is more of a boost than usual as he's been becoming rather disenchanted with upgrades recently as he's not been having much success and has been blaming himself and taking it out on himself somewhat. I must dash this evening, I'll catch up on my friends page tomorrow morning hopefully. Don't be too shocked if there's no update tomorrow evening, as I'll be relying on my unreliable internet connection at home for the first time in a few days. We'll see how that goes - I had absolutely no problem on Sunday. For now I must bid you farewell and go home to Gemma, whom I've not seen in nigh on 24 hours due to work. Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: "Intoxication" by Disturbed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
9:11 pm	It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. I made no notes to which I can refer for tonight's post, so my apologies for its disorganisation in advance. First, I will refer back to yesterday's post and report on my progress with each part of it. I think I'll continue to do this until it all becomes habit and therefore I see it as needless, which is when the next analysis will come. I did fairly well at not jumping into Dave or Vicky's jobs today, although it was difficult repressing the urges when something wasn't done as I would do it given that job role. I didn't do so well on my job either; there were only three appointments in the diary this evening (seventy push-ups for me) and I only got three names and numbers in Prestwich VIPing (another thirty push-ups). I said yesterday that I would not return to the centre without six VIPs, however today neither Vicky nor I had the motivation to keep going for the amount of time that would've been required to get six each. Tomorrow's diary is also looking pretty dire with only three in, but that's partially to be expected as it is Bonfire Night so a lot of people won't be able to make it. Saturday looks good; already nine in for then, just one more to get! I did get to sleep in reasonable time from getting home last night, and set my alarm for eight hours. Unfortunately, that's where the good self-control in this area ended. I woke up and automatically snoozed my alarm, before resetting it a couple of times, which eventually resulted in my rushing to get ready for work. I still managed to make myself a sandwich though, more on that shortly... In terms of spending, I did go to the shop and wasted some money today, as unfortunately Gem only got two rounds of bread out of the freezer to defrost. Historically, I would've blamed Gem for this mistake, however I am pleased with my progress in that I do recognise my own responsibility for my own life now: had I gotten up at the time I was supposed to, I would've had time to get my own bread out of the freezer, therefore wouldn't have gotten hungry today and wouldn't have wasted money in the shop. Who knew disciplined sleeping patterns could save you money? I haven't had any reminders in my phone to ignore as yet, however I definitely didn't do any work on my scripts. I did make more phone calls than yesterday or Monday, but there are still only three in for tomorrow. Unfortunately, the best intentions in the world are worth nothing, and it's foolish to rate your progression through life on effort, as results are what matter. All today taught me is that I need to make even more calls to be successful. I was going to go into the usual play-by-play commentary on my day next, however I realised that I've actually covered almost everything, other than my progress with my one hundred push-ups. I've got forty left, for those of you interested. Gem's picking me up this evening, and has been delayed by complications with her hair, so to entertain myself I'm going to lift an intriguing quiz or two from cha_mel_eon's second most recent entry... ( Mikeology ) I could only be bothered going up to there, so I cut the quiz short. It's not like any of you would have read it in its entirity anyway! As an aside, I have now completed my push-ups for the day. Oh, and the music I'm listening to can be blamed entirely on Key 103. Current Mood: bored Current Music: "Halo" by Beyoncé (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
9:50 pm	Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Today's VIPing went better than yesterday's, although it couldn't have been much worse! Today we went to Farnworth, where Dave and Vicky didn't get any, and I only managed two. However, Vicky and I went to St Luke's Primary at hometime to speak to some parents, where Vicky got three and I got four, thus hitting my daily target of six. This meant that I gave myself no VIPing push-ups, however there were only six appointments in the diary, so I got forty from that instead. I have already completed all seventy push-ups today, including the thirty outstanding from yesterday, so no more exercise for me today! Only three people in the diary tomorrow, so unless I perform a miracle tomorrow morning, that's seventy I have to do again already! I got paid today, pretty nicely too, however most of it has gone on house expenditure and paying off debts already, so might still be struggling by the end of the month. Fortunately, Gem got paid pretty well this month too, so we should have a fair bit of spare money between us. November hasn't quite gotten off to the flying start that October did at work, but on the plus side that means it can't fizzle out like October did in the second half of the month! Despite the slow start, I'm still firmly of the belief we can build upon last month's progress and have an even better month this month. In last night's post, I mentioned about getting my finances sorted. This is my first topic for my improvement list as, whether you like it or not, money makes the world go round and makes life easier if you have it and harder if you don't. My first step is to get my tax return from last tax year done online, hopefully tonight, time permitting. If I get into the habit of doing my own returns, that will save me plenty of money at the accountant's, as I won't need to pay them for doing simple maths for me. What follows will be other steps necessary to permanently improve my financial situation and keep me moving in the right direction. 1. I need to improve my performance in my specific job role, and put more trust in Dave and Vicky to do their things themselves. I do catch myself making plans, asking students for money owed and such when I haven't got my six VIPs for the day and there aren't ten appointments in the diary. I need to remember that Dave makes the plan, Vicky makes most of the money and all I have to do is get people in through the front door. From now on, I won't return to the centre without six VIPs each day, and I won't put the phone down until there are ten appointments or more in the diary the next day. My Friday and Sunday relaxation time will only come into effect when Saturday and Monday respectively are full. 2. I need to start having more self-control with my sleeping patterns. Ideally, I need eight hours of sleep per night, but not at the sacrifice of getting up early enough to make use of my day. How will this affect my finances? First, it will improve my focus on the job if I've had enough sleep. Second, if I actually get out of bed early in the morning, I can do things like making myself dinner to take to work, rather than wasting my money in the shop or café round the corner on much more expensive meals. 3. I also need more self-control in terms of spending. After making a purchase, I often question how much I really needed the thing I just bought, and how much of a waste of money it may have been. I have several goals (unofficial, mind, as they're not written down yet and therefore are mere dreams) I'd like to achieve before I'm 22, much like I had before I turned 21, however they all require me to be earning more and spending less, so anything I can do to affect either of those variables, I intend to. 4. I need to improve my professionalism at work. I need to not ignore the alarms on my phone reminding me to confirm appointments. I also need to learn the scripts required for the jobs I do around the centre, as they add a lot of value that we're missing out on at the moment through my own fault. I could make much more improvements at work, however these are probably worthy of a completely separate consideration, so for the time being I'm going to leave it here and crack on with catching up with all your lives on my friends' page. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "City" by Hollywood Undead (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 2nd, 2009
11:15 pm	Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost. Last night, I was unable to get any sort of consistent internet connection, which is why my second post is already backdated. Regardless of circumstance, I consider this a significant failure on my part, as all circumstance is a direct result of your own actions anyway. I shall continue to write the post as if it were last night, to save timeline confusion. Today, Vicky and I went VIPing in Eccles. It was absolutely freezing, so we only managed 45 minutes and got no names and numbers in that time. The monthly target each of us have equates to six per day, so I have decided to do ten push-ups for every one VIP of the six I don't get on any particular day. There also need to be ten appointments in the diary every day, so I'm going to do the same forfeit for each appointment that's not in there. Soon, I'll also develop a daily exercise regime which will run independently of this forfeit system. I still owe 30 push-ups, now that I think of it... The final thing to make a note of in today's brief post is that I need to get registered for my tax return online by Thursday, so this is also a good time to get all of my finances in order, from helping myself earn more, to saving more, to keeping track of what I do spend better, all of it. A longer post will hopefully be on the way tomorrow evening, as I have guaranteed internet for a couple of hours after work. In the meantime, keep your comments coming to last night's and tonight's posts, and I'll be back on tomorrow to reply! Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: none (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 1st, 2009
8:58 pm	This is comeback season. Hello everybody! I must apologise for my extended hiatus from LiveJournal, but unfortunately my new house did not come equipped with free internet, and I've only just gotten round to doing something about it. I have now purchased a rather wonderful device which allows me to pick up more wireless internet connections than I could before, and a rather less wonderful device which claims to pick up internet connections up to six miles away, but does nothing of the sort. I have been desperate to get the internet up and running because I seem to have this incredible issue with motivating myself to do anything productive without it. LiveJournal has become more than a means of documenting my everyday life and experiences for me, it is more like a personal motivation device, the simple reason being if I tell the entire internet I intend to do something, I'm more likely to do it. Pressure leads to progression. The expected list of things I need to change about myself and my life for the better will still be present, just not in tonight's post. Tonight's post was purely to announce my return and my whole-hearted intention to read through my friends' page at my earliest convenience. I hope you'll all return to (or take up) reading my posts and trying to find something upon which to comment. As you all surely know, I thrive on conversation, and logging in to LiveJournal to find conversations waiting for me will definitely help my motivation immensely. Feel free to comment on here with anything you'd like to input about this post, and if you have nothing to say, I'd love to know how you're doing and how you've been keeping, what you've been doing, etc. I look forward to speaking with you all soon. For now, a borrowed Coach Carter DVD awaits before sleep. Goodnight! Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: none (12 Comments |Comment on this)